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  Home  > Personal Wellness  > Responsibility versus Blame

Responsibility versus Blame

Guilt - the gift that keeps on giving. —Anonymous

We waste much of our valuable life energy by burdening ourselves with guilt and blame (I should have done this . . ." or "I shouldn't have said that . . . ."). It is a currency of our culture, used to manipulate and control people, usually when they are young and small. It is the stuff of which many religions are made, and many of us are so enmeshed in our feelings of shame and guilt that it is hard to see a situation objectively.

Taking responsibility for choices that may have resulted in an illness or injury does not mean taking on blame. There is a big difference. With blame, you berate yourself for not being perfect, or burden yourself with guilt that creates more stress. In taking responsibility for a problem, you accept that while you may not have intentionally engineered your present life situation, and you may, in truth, be able to point to this or that "external" as a contributing factor, you alone are responsible for how you choose to respond to the situation. Regardless of how difficult the challenge that you are facing may be, if you can accept, with love and compassion, that there is a lesson - even a gift - to be found, you can release blame and embrace the process.

This issue may be one of the most difficult ones you will encounter in learning how to increase your wellness. Blame and guilt get mixed in with responsibility from an early age. Having heard, at a tender age, an angry voice question "Who's responsible for this mess on the floor?" you may intimately link the concept of responsibility with a message of blame. These connections may go so deep, and originate so early in your life, that the word "responsibility" may carry some negative charge regardless of how conscious you become. Becoming aware of how such messages have been wired into your thinking will set the stage for change.




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