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John W. Travis, M.D. & Regina Sara Ryan
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Sex and Love

For too long we have relegated love to a commodity to be earned or won; something that must be held tight. We have guarded it, guessing that there was just so much of it to go around. We have assumed that in loving you, I therefore diminish the quantity of love I have to give others. If any notion needs liberation, this one does.

The great lovers, the great humanitarians of the world, loved and were loved by hundreds of people. They flourished with it. They were all the more energized for it. They tasted the reality that love is the energy of life, the breath of God, the ground of being. They realized that everything they did, every decision they made, either enhanced their capacity to experience love, or diminished it.

The old problem of charity begins at home" and the idea that "I can't love you until I can love myself" were never considerations for them. They often spent long periods of time, sometimes years, in contemplation. But their looking within brought them in touch with the place where everything was connected. They found no difference between themselves and us. In loving us, they loved themselves. In loving themselves, they loved us.

Love is not something we find. Love is something we build. —Bhai Sahib

So if love is as natural as breathing, and eating, and working, and playing, it is also as natural as "sexing." If love becomes our "life-support system," then every decision we make, sex included, will be guided by it. We will choose to have sex with one another if it enhances our experience of unification with all that is. We will love each other anyway, whether we have sex or not. We will celebrate the abundance of love that is always available to us if we keep ourselves open channels for the flow of life energy.

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