Often, our emotions are a result of some unfulfilled expectation (in the form of an internal or external desire or demand). Asking yourself the next few questions may help clarify the connection between feeling states and expectations. Using these questions several times in the course of a day, or whenever you're feeling unhappy, may increase your emotional awareness quotient.

1. What am I feeling?
   Am I mad/sad/scared?
   What is happening in my body?
   How, if at all, is this feeling affecting my thinking now?
   How, if at all, is this feeling affecting my overall mood right now?
2. When did this feeling start?
   What was happening at the time or what occasioned it?
3. Was there a desire/demand I had that was unmet, thus giving rise to this feeling?
   What expectation was unfulfilled? (For example: I expected/demanded that Frank would shower me with compliments for my cooking, and I felt angry when he didn't. Or, I secretly hoped for a problem-free workday; when frustrations arose, I became depressed, thinking there was something wrong with me.)
4. How realistic is/was this expectation?
5. Are you able or willing to relax this expectation/demand/desire, even a little?
6. What happens when you ease up a bit on the expectation, allowing things to be as they are?

Congratulations! Investigating these questions may lead you into some challenging or even uncomfortable places - but taking the risk is generally worth it.

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