The Wellspring Logo
wellness workbookWellness Workbook
How To Achieve Enduring Health and Vitality
John W. Travis, M.D. & Regina Sara Ryan
 
top_img1
top_img2
  Home  > Personal Wellness  > Judging Others - Getting Reactive

Judging Others - Getting Reactive

Instead of getting reactive when you make a mistake, take a deep breath and a metaphorical step back" from your behavior, if only by the slightest degree. Sometimes it helps to think of how you might advise another person in a similar situation. You've seen how easily a friend or relative has become twisted up with guilt and self-recrimination for something they've done. You've seen how painful this process becomes. You know that by equating their self-worth with their ability to do things perfectly, they are creating an unrealistic expectation that can never be fully realized.

Ask yourself if your fear of making a mistake is based on the hidden assumption that you are potentially perfect and that if you can just be careful enough, you will not fall from grace. Recognize the impossibility of such a goal. Determine to move forward in solving the problem in the best way you can in the moment, even if you still feel dissatisfied by your imperfect performance. Apologize if appropriate; own up to the truth as necessary; acknowledge your own essential goodness; move on.

But a "mistake" is a declaration of the way I am, a jolt to the way I intend, a reminder I am not dealing with the facts. When I have listened to my mistakes I have grown. —Hugh Prather

There are probably an infinite number of ways in which to describe the same person, the same event. The description we choose betrays much about our attitudes and our appreciation of the person or scene. I describe the man I don't know or care about as "the ugly fat guy." To his friend, he is the one in the blue jogging outfit or the heavyset one with glasses.

Listen to yourself describe things and people to yourself and others. If you find you are expressing judgments, you might want to plug in a more objective (perhaps kind and compassionate) description. While you're at it, try applying this to descriptions of yourself as well.




<< Previous Owning Our Mistakes | Back to Communicating | Next >> Active Listening Skills
top_img3
links_heading
Home
right_link_sep
Personal Wellness
   Introduction to Wellness
   Self-Responsibility & Love
   Breathing
   Sensing
   Eating
   Moving
   Feeling
   Thinking
   Working & Playing
   Communicating
   Intimacy & Sex
   Finding Meaning
   Transcending
right_link_sep
Personal Wellness Lite
right_link_sep
Child / Family
right_link_sep
Global Wellness
right_link_sep
For Professionals
right_link_sep
About
right_link_sep
Contact Us
right_link_sep
right_link_sep
right_link_sep
right_link_bottom
feature_topics_heading
Helping Professionals
This area consists of text from Wellness for Helping Professionals, by John W. Travis, MD, and Meryn Callander. more...
sep
Pregnancy
Over the past decade, revolutionary discoveries in neuroscience and developmental psychology have shattered long-held misconceptions about fetal devel more...
sep
Premises and Objectives
The culture in which we live plays a major role in shaping our beliefs and behaviors. more...
sep
right_box_top
left_box_bottom

 

top_img4
left_box_bottom
© 2017, Wellness Associates, Inc, All Rights Reserved. Home | Personal Wellness | Personal Wellness Lite | Child/Family | Global Wellness | For Professionals | Resources | About The Wellspring | Contact Us | Advertising Disclaimer | Another site & Search Engine Marketing (SEO) by webko.com.au Byron Bay - Web Design Australia